Couples therapy in Ho Chi Minh City
What is couples therapy?
The root cause: Relationships are where our deepest needs and our oldest wounds tend to surface most clearly. In couples therapy, we create a space where both partners can be seen and heard — not to determine who is right or wrong, but to understand what is actually happening between you: the cycles you get caught in, the things that go unspoken, and what each person is really reaching for beneath the conflict.
My approach is psychodynamic and relational. I pay attention to the emotional undercurrents beneath surface arguments, and to the ways each person’s history shapes what they bring into the relationship. The couple as a system — as it appears live in the room — is what we work with.
Benefits: Couples therapy may be helpful when you feel stuck in the same arguments without resolution; when emotional distance has grown and you are not sure how to bridge it; when trust has been broken and you are trying to find a way forward; or when one or both partners feel chronically unseen or misunderstood.
Format: Sessions are 75 minutes, available in person in Ho Chi Minh City or online, in English or Vietnamese.
What is it like to go couples therapy
The inital sessions: Coming to therapy as a couple is different from coming alone. There are two people in the room, two histories, two sets of needs and often, two very different experiences of the same relationship. One of the first tasks is simply to slow things down enough that each person can be heard, not just responded to. Sessions typically begin by establishing what each partner hopes to get from the work — which may not be the same thing.
The work:From there, we look at the patterns that have taken hold: the sequences of action and reaction that tend to repeat, the moments where communication breaks down, and the underlying emotional needs that often go unexpressed beneath the surface of conflict. This is not a process of fault-finding.
Goal: It is an exploration of how two people — each shaped by their own history and their own way of attaching — have come to relate to each other in the ways they do. Understanding that dynamic, together, is usually what opens up the possibility of something different.
Is couples therapy right for us?
Understanding Over Verdicts: The goal isn’t for a therapist to decide if your relationship is “worth saving.” Instead, it’s a space to understand your dynamics and discover if a different way of being together is possible.
Beyond the Crisis: Therapy isn’t just a last resort for couples on the brink of separation. Most people seek help not because of a dramatic event, but because of a persistent, quiet feeling of being stuck.
The Communication Loop: A common sign it’s time to talk is when you feel like you’re having the same unproductive conversation over and over—or when you’ve stopped trying to have it at all.
The Power of Showing Up: The process is most effective when both partners still care enough to be present, even if one is skeptical about whether it will actually help.
Ambivalence is Okay: It is perfectly normal for one partner to be more ready than the other. Honest hesitation isn’t a dealbreaker; in fact, it’s often the most authentic starting point for the work.
No “Shoulds” Allowed: Therapy focuses on your actual reality, meeting you exactly where you are rather than where you think you “should” be.
What couples therapy is not
Not a Courtroom: The therapist doesn’t act as a judge to determine who is “right” or assign blame. The focus is on the fact that both partners have their own valid experiences, even when those perspectives don’t align.
Not Pressure to Stay Together: The goal isn’t to save the relationship at any cost. Instead, it’s about gaining enough clarity and understanding so that whatever decision you make comes from a grounded, informed place.
Not a Grievance Archive: It isn’t an “excavation” of every past mistake or a list of old arguments. While the past matters, the focus is primarily on what is happening in the present—how you speak to each other and where the connection breaks down in real-time.
Not a Performance: You don’t need to show up composed, agreeable, or even certain of what you want. Whether you bring frustration, grief, or total ambivalence, being your authentic, “unpolished” self is exactly where the work begins.