Marriage & couples counseling in Ho Chi Minh City
What is couples therapy?
The root cause: Relationships are where our deepest needs and our oldest wounds tend to surface most clearly. In couples therapy, we create a space where both partners can be seen and heard, not to determine who is right or wrong, but to understand what is actually happening between you: the cycles you get caught in, the things that go unspoken, and what each person is really reaching for beneath the conflict.
My approach is psychodynamic and relational. Arguments are usually about something more than the thing being argued about, so I listen for what each of you is really feeling, and for how your earlier experiences of love and family shape the way you reach for each other now. What we work with is the relationship as it happens between you in the session.
Benefits: Couples therapy may be helpful when you feel stuck in the same arguments without resolution; when emotional distance has grown and you are not sure how to bridge it; when trust has been broken and you are trying to find a way forward; or when one or both partners feel chronically unseen or misunderstood.
Key facts
- Service: couples and marriage counselling
- Session length: 90 minutes
- Format: in person in Ho Chi Minh City, or online
- Languages: English, with Norwegian also available
- Main methods: Mentalisation-Based Therapy (MBT) and psychodynamic couples work
- Therapist: Hieu Tran, clinical psychologist licensed in Norway (HPR 10136421), Cand. Psychol (equivalent Psy. D)
- Booking: email info@hieutrangoc.vn or WhatsApp
What is it like to go to couples therapy
The initial sessions
Coming to therapy as a couple is different from coming alone. There are two people in the room, two histories, two sets of needs and often, two very different experiences of the same relationship. One of the first tasks is simply to slow things down enough that each person can be heard, not just responded to. Sessions typically begin by establishing what each partner hopes to get from the work, which may not be the same thing.
The work
From there, we look at the patterns that have taken hold: the way one reaction leads to another and the same exchange keeps repeating, the moments where communication breaks down, and the needs each of you has that rarely get said out loud. This is not a process of fault-finding.
Goal
It is an exploration of how two people, each shaped by their own history and their own way of attaching, have come to relate to each other in the ways they do. Understanding that dynamic, together, is usually what opens up the possibility of something different.
Is couples therapy right for us?
Understanding Over Verdicts
The goal isn’t for a therapist to decide if your relationship is “worth saving.” Instead, it’s a space to understand your dynamics and discover if a different way of being together is possible.
Beyond the Crisis
Therapy isn’t just a last resort for couples on the brink of separation. Most people seek help not because of a dramatic event, but because of a persistent, quiet feeling of being stuck.
The Communication Loop
A common sign it’s time to talk is when you feel like you’re having the same unproductive conversation over and over, or when you’ve stopped trying to have it at all.
The Power of Showing Up
The process is most effective when both partners still care enough to be present, even if one is sceptical about whether it will actually help.
Ambivalence is Okay
It is perfectly normal for one partner to be more ready than the other. Honest hesitation isn’t a dealbreaker; in fact, it’s often the most authentic starting point for the work.
No “Shoulds” Allowed
Therapy focuses on your actual reality, meeting you exactly where you are rather than where you think you “should” be.
What couples therapy is not
Not a Courtroom
The therapist doesn’t act as a judge to determine who is “right” or assign blame. The focus is on the fact that both partners have their own valid experiences, even when those perspectives don’t align.
Not Pressure to Stay Together
The goal isn’t to save the relationship at any cost. Instead, it’s about gaining enough clarity and understanding so that whatever decision you make comes from a grounded, informed place.
Not a Grievance Archive
It isn’t an “excavation” of every past mistake or a list of old arguments. While the past matters, the focus is primarily on what is happening in the present: how you speak to each other and where the connection breaks down in real-time.
Not a Performance
You don’t need to show up composed, agreeable, or even certain of what you want. Whether you bring frustration, grief, or total ambivalence, being your authentic, “unpolished” self is exactly where the work begins.
Related reading
What often sits underneath
Longer pieces on the patterns that tend to bring couples in, and where they come from.
The argument you both know by heart
It starts differently every time and ends the same way. Neither of you can find the exit.
What each of you brought with you
Two histories in the room. Patterns learned long before you met, showing up in how you reach for each other now.
Managing their mood
Reading the room before you speak. Editing yourself so the other person stays comfortable.
Anger that turns into guilt
Something is wrong, but naming it feels like an attack, so you take it back before it lands.
Good to know
Frequently asked questions
What if my partner is reluctant to come?
It is common for one partner to feel more ready than the other, and honest hesitation is not a dealbreaker. It is often useful material for the work itself. What matters most is that both of you are willing to be in the room, even if one of you doubts whether it will help.
Will you decide which of us is right?
No. This is not a courtroom and I do not sit as a judge. Both of you hold a valid experience of the relationship, even when those experiences do not line up. The work is about understanding what happens between you, not assigning blame.
Are you going to try to keep us together?
No. The goal is not to save the relationship at any cost, and it is not my place to decide whether your relationship is worth saving. The goal is enough clarity and understanding that whatever you decide comes from a grounded, informed place.
Do we have to be in crisis before it is worth coming?
No. Most couples come not because of a dramatic event but because of a persistent, quiet sense of being stuck: having the same unproductive conversation over and over, or having stopped trying to have it at all.
How long is a session, and where do we meet?
Couples sessions are 90 minutes, longer than individual sessions, so there is room for both partners. They are available in person in Ho Chi Minh City at the Vietnam Institute of Psychology, or online.
How many sessions will we need?
It varies. We begin by establishing what each of you hopes to get from the work, which may not be the same thing, and we review progress together as we go, so the pace stays in your hands.
Should we come as a couple, or individually?
If the difficulty lives mainly in how the two of you relate (recurring arguments, growing distance, feeling chronically unseen), couples work is usually the better starting point. If you are unsure, that is worth raising in an initial consultation.